Moose in the TARDIS
by Anne O'Nimmous
Summary: The Winchesters have a run-in with the Doctor. Total fluff piece inspired by a true story about Mark Sheppard, Jared Padalecki, and a Doctor Who prop. (An explanation can be found at: imgur . com / 4Wh0pRU . jpg)
Dean and Sam stood facing the Doctor, unsure of how to respond. He raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Well? Do you want to or not?"

"Excuse us for a sec, would you?" Dean asked, pulling Sam aside. "What do you think? I mean, this was crazy, even for us. What if it's always like that? Even a short vacation could end in disaster."

Sam shrugged. "I don't know...it was just a different kind of crazy, really. I think we could handle it if something happened. And it would be nice. Besides, we could go anywhere! Didn't you ever have to write one of those stupid letters to your favorite historical figure? Now we have the chance to actually meet them."

Dean sighed. "Fine. But if weird stuff starts happening, I'm out."

They turned back around. The Doctor was waiting for their answer, hands stuffed in his pockets and sneakered feet tapping. "All right," Dean said. "But just one trip. And no more freaky alien crap."

The Doctor beamed. "Brilliant! Where do you want to go, then? Anytime, anywhere!"

Dean and Sam looked at each other and shrugged. "What about...oh, dude! We could go to the first AC/DC concert!"

Sam gave his brother a look. "Really? All of time and space and you pick a rock concert? What's wrong with meeting Einstein or Richard Lionheart?"

"You are such a nerd, Sammy."

The Doctor intervened then, still smiling happily. "Well if you two can't decide, we could always do both. Then straight home."

Dean cast a wistful glance at the Impala, then at the width of the Tardis' doors. "My baby had better be mint when we get back," he muttered.

"Of course! We can come back to the exact second we leave if you'd like. No time for anything to have happened at all," the Doctor reassured him.

"If anything does happen to her, I'm holding you personally responsible," Dean warned as he walked into the Tardis. They'd already seen the inside, so he was prepared (partially, anyway) for the size. Still, it made his head hurt to think about it.

Sam was next. He paused for a moment at the open door before making a few awkward attempts to make it through. No matter what he did, either his height or his breadth prevented him from getting through the door. The Doctor was flabbergasted. "It doesn't make any sense- Andre the Giant fit through these doors! How can you _not_ fit?"

"Ever tried to fit a moose?" Apparently Crowley had showed up at some point, and had been enjoying the spectacle.

"No, actually, but I don't see what that has to do with anything," the Doctor replied. "I'm the Doctor, by the way."

"The name's Crowley. You misunderstand, Doctor. Moose is my name for him. He's close enough to the size, and his brain probably functions about the same. The other one is more of a squirrel."

"Rocky and Bullwinkle? Clever, but it's not very nice, now is it?"

"I'm a demon, what do you expect?" Crowley replied scornfully.

"No. Really? That's fascinating- I've never met a demon before!" The Doctor was apparently impervious to scorn when he was curious about something. He put on his glasses and scrutinized Crowley like you might a bug under a magnifying glass.

"Do you mind?" Apparently demons don't like being stared at.

"Right, yes. Sorry. You know, I'd love to hear about certain events from your point of view. Fancy a chat?"

Crowley gave it a moment's thought. "Why not?"

While their conversation had been going on, they had failed to notice a single, important fact. When the Doctor turned around to enter the Tardis, he was greeted by the sight of a thoroughly miserable and very stuck Sam. Or rather, his back. He was trying to extricate himself with Dean's help, but his shoulders were wedged quite tightly—and uncomfortably—in the doorway. The Doctor quickly added his efforts.

Crowley didn't bother hiding an amused smirk as he watched the three of them struggle. Finally, the Doctor solved the problem by shoving open the second door, which freed Sam's shoulders. "Blimey! I really don't understand it. You should fit."

"Never had that problem before, huh Sammy?" Dean asked smugly.

"Shut up," Sam shot back, embarrassed enough already. "Listen, why don't I go grab some stuff from the bunker? I'll be back in under two hours, and then we can go." The offer was obviously just an excuse to remove himself from the situation—and from Dean's teasing.

Dean gave the Doctor an apologetic glance. "We'll be back," he promised, then ran after Sam. "Hey hey hey! Get your hands off the wheel! Did I say you could drive? You wanna go back to the bunker without me, you're walking."

"Dean, the bunker's thirty miles from here."

"So? Remember what happened last time I let you drive?"

Still bickering, the Winchesters got into the Impala and drove off, leaving Crowley and the Doctor standing by the Tardis.

"Well that was definitely worth a few minutes of my time," Crowley said. "Pity you thought of opening the door so soon. It would have been funny to see you try and fly around with him stuck there."

The Doctor couldn't help but smile at the image. "I wouldn't do that to him, though. It's a good job we did get him unstuck, or I wouldn't be able to get in. Speaking of which, did you want to have that chat now?"

"Sure."

And thus the Doctor learned about demons, demons learned about the Doctor, and everyone learned that a Moose could never fit into the Tardis.


End file.
